What did we do last night that was yellow?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
