why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
