You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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