Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
nutella sex= disaster
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
