I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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