im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
