I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize