well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
