:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
