at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
