My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
