summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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