marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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