Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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