Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
