im drinking this country out of the recession.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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