I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize
