Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
