We won't sleep together?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
