you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
