i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
