shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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