i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
