out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
