Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
