I want to walk on stilts...naked
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
