The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
