I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
