Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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