Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
