so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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