Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(682): View more from Texas

nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise

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(682): nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise http://tfl.nu/kg9z

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(847): View more from Illinois

This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.

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(847): This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car. http://tfl.nu/cnfz

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(773): View more from Illinois

before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.

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(773): before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident. http://tfl.nu/lgcs

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(914): View more from New York

My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.

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(914): My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control. http://tfl.nu/45m8

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(248): View more from Michigan

He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???

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(248): He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2??? http://tfl.nu/dt4w

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.

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(203): I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious. http://tfl.nu/9dex

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(650): View more from California

we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed

(505): View more from New Mexico

god you guys know how to party

(650): View more from California

worst. bachelorette party. ever.

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(650): we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed (505): god you guys know how to party (650): worst. bachelorette party. ever. http://tfl.nu/3oqx

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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..

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(410): I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle.. http://tfl.nu/lwyr

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.

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(814): The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate. http://tfl.nu/mnoh

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(209): View more from California

You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.

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(209): You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him. http://tfl.nu/xni0

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(410): View more from Maryland

Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.

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(410): Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop. http://tfl.nu/b326

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(248): View more from Michigan

Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup

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(248): Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier? (1-248): Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup http://tfl.nu/318d

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(778): View more from British Columbia

they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?

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(778): they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date? http://tfl.nu/4653

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(+61): View more from Australia

Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers

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(+61): Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers http://tfl.nu/a2tk

Replies (7) Good night (961) Bad night (275)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.

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(515): Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away. http://tfl.nu/jux9

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