The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize