just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
