Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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