break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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