Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
