the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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