Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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