He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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