it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
