Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
