There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
