In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
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My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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The convent might be a nice break from real life
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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