I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
