hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
