ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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