who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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