you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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