just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
