I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
