TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
