why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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