it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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