Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
