I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
