Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
