half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
