She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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