That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
