Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
