who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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