now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
