don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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