I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
