two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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