my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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