i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
