I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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