happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
