Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
